xniiharax

I'd love to finish my work but the internet (or just dbmojo, whatever it is) is really fucking up on me. 30 more posts to go before 10 am hits. Life needs to shape up, desperately. There's beauty in the world and I need to remember that. A little la vie en rose, ya'll.

While I'm still in the mood to go all introspective, I might as well go into it before I chicken out.

Second half of 2009 was for some quietude and the figuring out of who I am, what I want so on and so forth. I've written a lot less as a bid to stop bemoaning life as though I'm paraparetic, learnt to sleep a lot better, and am adept at being (almost) alone. Though this new independence is probably hinged on having someone entirely reliable in my life…and then this is where fear strolls in with the butwhatifs. This year I'll need to control my head and plant my feet firmly on the ground, what is real is what stands before me—we'll go back to the basics and what is real is simply what I believe in. If life fucks up then… ohwells. 2009 was for righting my head such that no upheaval will reduce me to a quivering bag of bones again but now I think it is all part of growing up. And definitely largely attributable to my insane head which has glorified debauchery and nihilism for much too long, thinking it is cool to dwell in misery and use inanely huge words to paint the gloom that I've intensified out of a perverse pleasure. 

Well, it is time to be 23 and leave the angst of teenage years behind man. In 2010, I want to live for the present, learn that time is linear and no, I can't rewind or fast forward. The ink on my feet has to be the best thing I've done last year.

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While falling in thinking that everyone is inherently the same and losing the curiousity for meeting new people and learning about their lives, I guess it somehow clicked that I too am inherently the same. All of us breathe, eat, fuck and shit; maybe some a little less/more than the others. What's so special about anyone, yo. I need to regain the appetite of yesteryears for wanting to know how people think and why they do what they do. Or do I? No I don't. But I'll make an effort to be more sociable and actually get the fuck out of Woodlands or maybe just open my mouth a little more to feign gaiety if not interest. (I feel childish and irreparably aged at the same time.)

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Now I really need to get a job.

Hurry, pack up and get lost 2009!

The uninspiring end to the year has led me to the discovery of Mio TV and the movies I can "rent" wireless through amazing technology. This lack of excitement must be old age though those in their 30s still insist I'm at the peak of my youth. The desire to drink up and stumble on feet with skirt hitched up at unbecoming angles has fled with just the tiniest touch of nostalgia while the charms of meeting hordes of acquaintances amongst the crowds of Orchard Road has too waned. Friday nights are best spent at home, a beer best snagged at a quiet, fancy-free bar, and shopping best done online. Oh, the marvels of the internet. "Couch potato" is so passe, someone ought to coin a term for the second millenia's sloths.

Gili was a laissez faire affair: